My Lover's Gone
by asparagus
Summary: [Pre-White Flag] Jack's thoughts the morning after. [Slash]


Title: My Lover's Gone  
  
Author: asparagus  
  
Email: asparagus@iamwasted.com  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
Summary: Jack's thoughts the morning after.  
  
Spoilers: Pirates of the Carribean  
  
Warnings: Slash (J/W), Implied (W/E), Angst  
  
Disclaimer: I have no claim on the movie "Pirates of the Carribean". In no way whatsoever am I profiting from this fictional piece - unless it's an ego boost from any comments you people deem worthy of sending my way. I also do not own Dido's song "My Lover's Gone".  
  
Author's Note: Another songfic for those who've missed hearing Jack's side of things. For those familiar with the song, I know, I know. Wrong context. But, this was the closest song I could find that got the message across. Tell me if I worked it out OK. ~_^ ...And yes, I love Dido's music, and enjoy giving Jack singing parts. Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum. Hehe.  
  
My Lover's Gone  
  
*****  
  
My lover's gone,  
  
His boots no longer by my door.  
  
He left at dawn,  
  
And as I slept I felt him go,  
  
Returns no more.  
  
I will not watch the ocean.  
  
My lover's gone,  
  
No earthly ships will ever bring him home again,  
  
Bring him home again.  
  
*****  
  
Jack stared blankly at the wooden planks above his bed. He could hear the loud footsteps of his men as they went about their work. They'd reached the Isla de los Muertos, and soon he'd have to join them. Wouldn't want them to think that anything was wrong. For there wasn't, he staunchly told himself. So he'd woken up with empty space next to him. Nothing new there. Sure, his previous lovers had to be kicked out, rather than searched for the morning after. But, this just showed that Will was different. He wasn't interested in more than a fling with Jack, nor did he want any gold. They simply had a mutual understanding that nothing went beyond the bedroom. There was Elizabeth after all.   
  
It was clear that Will had decided he'd had enough fun and it was time to go rescue his damsel in distress. That was all in keeping with his fine upbringing. No surprise there. ...So, why did Jack feel a pang whenever he thought of the early morning's events? He'd become accustomed to waking up in an empty bed, even though he'd never liked it. Made him feel like a whore - and one who hadn't even been paid at that! But, that aside, he'd also become used to thinking that Will would return when night did. So, the knowledge that a troublesome young lady would be back put a twist on things.   
  
Now, Jack loved surprises - even better when he was the one behind them. But, he didn't like the unexpected creeping up on -him-. And that was definitely going to happen once that damn girl came along. There were only two possible consequences to her return. One, Will decided he didn't love her after all, returned her to Norrington, and sailed off into the bleeding sunset with Jack... That was the one the pirate was rooting for. Or, two, Will rescued her and they eloped into their own sunset, Norrington and Jack be-damned. And -that- was what Jack was betting on.  
  
So, why did this bother him anyway? He frowned. A bedfellow wasn't that hard to find. All he had to do was let loose his pirate charm and flash a gold galleon, then he had more than he could handle. He was never lacking in willing partners that was for sure. ...But then, he came back to square one. Will was different. The pirate actually couldn't pin down why it was so. It just was. Which left him where he was at the moment. Alone, with no desire for some poor substitute. Damn that blacksmith.   
  
Jack sincerely hoped his state was temporary.  
  
Yet, he couldn't shake the thought that something had hurt badly when he felt Will go that morning. Through some wild stretch of imagination, he even had the faintest memory of asking the boy to stay while he'd been half-asleep. He wished upon his stars that, if that was so, it had just been the rum talking. Or that the boy hadn't heard. If Will had and he'd still left... Jack didn't want to think about that. It hurt his pride. Nothing more. ...But, the boy couldn't possibly have heard him. And it was pointless to debate on that because it had to have been the rum. Definitely the rum.  
  
Either way, it didn't matter. Will was different, and so? Yes, it might take some time to go back to his standard fare of blackguard lovers and saucy wenches. But, Jack would move on eventually. That blacksmith hadn't spoiled him for all the lovely people who waited to be seduced by Captain Jack Sparrow. No sir'ree. This pirate was definitely not going to stand around waiting for Will to come to his senses. There were other potential companions to seduce and countless ships to plunder.   
  
No, Jack wasn't going to watch the ocean for a ship that wasn't coming. Elizabeth was the true North of Will's compass and all that blather. He'd been delayed by Typhoon Jack, but now, he was back on course and off at full-speed after his lady love. Jack could understand the sentiment. He was after the Pearl, wasn't he? He knew how deep such attachments ran. It was in your blood and you wouldn't have a moment's peace till you had it. ...Like the call of the sea. Perhaps Jack had overestimated its pull on Will. It definitely didn't look like Will had plans to continue life as a pirate. He seemed to prefer the quiet life of hearth and home at port over the chaotic one at sea.   
  
*****  
  
My lover's gone,  
  
I know that kiss will be my last.  
  
No more his song,  
  
The tune upon his lips has passed,  
  
I sing alone,  
  
While I watch the ocean.  
  
My lover's gone,  
  
No earthly ships will ever bring him home again,  
  
Bring him home again.  
  
*****  
  
The pirate shook his head and finally slipped out of bed to dress. As he paused before the mirror, he touched his cheek and remembered the kiss his lover had given him before dozing off. There hadn't been any given in parting that morning. At least none that Jack had felt. The boy had been afraid to wake him more likely than not. So, this was how it ended... Only then did it hit Jack, like a splash of cold water. Not only his bed would be empty from then on. Soon, the ship would no longer ring with songs of love and chivalry, so sweet to ear and heart. They would be replaced by their more bawdy predecessors in his crew's coarse voices. The Pearl would also take the Interceptor's place. Everything would be as it used to. And that was he wanted, Jack reassured himself.  
  
Yet, even though they were still together on the same ship, it already felt as if Will was gone. Elizabeth was tugging at the boy's mooring line, and he was coming at her call. If Jack looked out his window, he could almost imagine seeing them sail into their golden sunset. ...And so what if the girl had bagged Will? Gotten to him first? Jack had already shagged him. He could go on his merry way having gotten what he wanted. Who cared if Will didn't look back? Not Captain Jack Sparrow.   
  
How could he feel the loss of what had never really been his? 


End file.
